fruitcake doorstops

if you have lived to see either

side of 30, you have been

offered a fruitcake—

it might have been round these

“holiday” times, when people

celebrate their fictional characters

that got the horrible religions

rolling, or the

fictional meal that didn’t seem to

stop the genocide of this empire’s

native people—


you might’ve gotten

lucky & had one

shoved in your face

at another time of the year,

no doubt, when this gift

that will no doubt be

around for the cockroaches &

rats to feast on when us

humans finally off ourselves in

a nuclear smorgasbord

(that so many are counting on,

hoping & “praying” for),

was rewrapped from said

“holiday” & passed on to you

so that you could do the same

to someone even more



said to be spawned in ancient

Rome, the common recipe for

this dessert that seems to disgust

so many & yet get reproduced

every single year, without fail,

contains nuts & candied fruit at

its base, extending its contents

from this to a wide range of

everything from honey, spices &

even booze—but it all begs the


“is there a place for fruit cake?”


even people who say they like it,

are never really found eating it &

even those who are found eating it,

never really finish a whole piece—


why not find a use for this


why not use it for a doorstop?
we always need more of them?

why not use them on the battlefield instead

of expensive sandbags?

why not build garages with them in

the most arid parts of the empire?

could use them for roadblocks,


the possibilities are endless—

think about it.


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